Roz Hernandez Wants a Little Mystery
On her new audiobook, her bangs, and the hottest thing a person can be.
“My darling I will be in NYC 6/20-6/30,” Roz DM’d me after I asked if she’d be open to being featured on ONE HOUR PHOTO. I’ve been a fan of hers for years. We’ve all seen the reel of a ghost calling her the f-slur, or the chaser heckling her (flirtatiously?), or iconic clips from her YouTube show.
I had the pleasure of shooting with Roz the day her audiobook was released, Peeing in an Empty Bottle and Other Glamorous Shenanigans of an Almost-Famous Transgender Comedienne on the Road. We took a round trip on the Staten Island Ferry and chatted while we took photos. Since the audiobook came out the day of the shoot, I hadn’t been able to listen yet. That’s changed since then — I devoured the book. A freshly Windexed peek into being trans in America. An optimistic one. She booked over 50 shows across the USA and drove herself to each.
I was so happy to hear a shoutout to the Boise gay bar, The Balcony, which I’ve been going to for years on my trips to Jordan’s hometown. I felt proud.
I finished the audiobook smiling, feeling proud to be queer and proud to be friends with the author of such an important cultural document. Here’s Roz:
Tell me about the audiobook!
It’s called Peeing in an Empty Bottle and Other Glamorous Shenanigans of an Almost Famous Transgender Comedienne on the Road. Last year I really needed work, and I wanted to travel and perform for the LGBT community — but there are so many places I’ve never played. I’m six-foot-one and trans, and if I don’t sell out the room, it’s just people staring at me. So I thought: why not do it at places that already do drag shows? I posted online asking where the good drag clubs and gay clubs were — I just needed somewhere with chairs, a stage, and a microphone. I ended up booking 50 shows and decided to make it an adventure. I rented cars and drove myself, city to city.
Where was your favorite stretch to drive?
The middle of the country, honestly — places I’d never really been, like Oklahoma City, Omaha, Kansas City. And I loved Asheville. I love the South. Asheville is so trans — they don’t even have an official gay bar, because the locals told me every place there is gay-friendly. The spot I performed at was unofficially split: sports and pool upstairs, drag downstairs.
When did the idea to turn it into an audiobook happen?
On the drive. It started as just a tour, and then I brought a recorder with me. I recorded my shows, and then I started recording conversations with people I met on the road — local drag performers who opened for me, hearing what it’s like where they live, how everyone’s actually doing in America right now. All of that’s in the book.
What surprised you most on this project?
Honestly, I already knew there were LGBT communities and allies all over this country — that part wasn’t a surprise. What got me was how special it felt to spend real time with these people, that shorthand you find when you travel. It made me feel less alone.
Who’s a big inspiration for you?
Definitely John Waters — he actually makes an appearance in the audiobook. Margaret Cho was another huge one. But honestly, these days I’m most inspired by the trans divas of the world, especially the ones in the drag world. I relate to them so deeply — if it was a subspecies of human, that’s me: trans drag. I met so many of them out on the tour, some who’ve been performing for decades, with incredible stories.
And you have drag queens open for your shows?
I love it. It turns the whole thing into more of a variety show, and a high-energy lip sync is such a good opener for a gay bar crowd — way better than jumping straight into stand-up. And once I started doing drag clubs, I figured, well, then you guys have to tip me. I put a bucket at the foot of the stage — if you hear a good one, come on up. All my gas money, all my hotel money, was paid in ones.
What city tips the best?
Dallas. Overflowed the bucket. They’ve got such a strong drag culture — they know.
What does everyone get wrong about you?
A lot of people think I’m goth — It’s because there’s a chunk of my audience that only knows me from the ghost-hunting stuff, so they assume ghost hunter, goth, spooky.
Two movies you loved growing up?
Romy and Michele, and Carrie.
How do you produce your YouTube show?
I meet guys on Grindr and go ghost hunting with them in hotel rooms that are allegedly haunted. To me, ghost hunting has so much potential to be funny, but it never is — it’s always people taking it way too seriously, way too straight. I think it’s fun doing it in heels with guys from Grindr.
I don’t message them first, actually — I just make a profile and see who reaches out. People assume I’m angling for a piece of trade, but I want fun gay guys, not sexual tension — I’m there to work. I bring a couple tripods, four cameras, and I’m very clear with the guys going in: we are not hooking up, this is strictly for the show.
When did you get bangs?
March 1st, 2021. Everything changed.
What’s your advice for everyone at home on finding their own version of getting bangs — metaphorically?
Give yourself a little mystery. That’s kind of what bangs are — what are they hiding? What are you hiding under there? I’m not telling. I think that’s true in life, too: have a little mystery, leave them wanting more.
Do people find you mysterious?
I’ve heard that, but I think I’m actually pretty open. Especially since doing the audiobook — I used to be more guarded, but lately I don’t really care. Whatever people want to know, I’ll talk about it.
The hottest thing a person can be?
Bisexual. More so than pan — though honestly, as long as they’re into me, I don’t care what you call it.
↓ UNLOCK ROZ’S JUICY TIDBIT FOR $5 ↓
Roz’s message to this heckler
Developed and scanned in partnership with Nice Film Club
One Hour Photo Creative Production: Carly Kane