Missy McIntosh Smoked Me At Pool
Over the course of four tables, I became friends with Brooklyn’s coolest girl.
To Missy, there’s no such thing as a stranger.
I asked Missy what a date with her would look like, and she suggested we go on a pool crawl through the city. Over the course of four tables, I became friends with Brooklyn’s coolest girl.
Jealousy, I staunchly believe, is a map to what we really want. “So, who are you jealous of?” I asked Missy, “Sabrina Carpenter,” she said without missing a beat. My gut reaction was to chuckle, but now it makes complete and perfect sense: Sabrina has immense talent, but she’s got a comedic edge and charisma that sets her apart. Missy’s got it, too. Watch the music video for her single “No Shot” starring Missy herself and of course, Marty Miller.
Here are a few highlights from our conversation:
How do you get a table at Bernie’s?
Come early with your full party… or fall in love with someone who works there.
First date rules?
Don’t show up tipsy, no funny business besides kissing, and never dinner.
Horniest place in the city?
I used to call Twins Lounge the boyfriend store before it was what it is now. It was the closest thing straight people had to a gay bar.
What’s the hottest thing someone can be?
Insured.
What do you love about playing pool?
Pool is poetic. It’s a game of strategy and chance. I love that it can feel like you’re getting smacked in a game but then you come back in one turn and win. It’s sexy. I love the threat of the 8-ball; that the whole game can be over in an instant. I love that it has nothing to do with the entertainment industry.
Solids or stripes?
Depends on the day. Lately it’s solids because they’re chic.
Before you had your own moped, did you ever drive Revel scooters?
YES! I miss them. I felt like I was in Thailand.
What’s your order at the bar?
Dirty martini, no vermouth, shaken to hell.
If someone wants to go on a date, how should they ask you?
I will literally give anyone in the world my number if they ask.
What do you love about NY?
There’s something beautiful about how hard we make our lives here. It’s like swimming with drag on, like when swimmers don’t shave their legs.
Morning person?
I’m someone who does not set an alarm. I’m a woman who denies myself nothing.
What do you think of edibles?
Scary. I will make my way home.
What do you think about making returns?
Easily the hardest thing you could ever do.
What are you proud of?
I just bought a printer and it feels like I bought a house. It feels like I’m a woman who is in charge of her own life.
What do you want?
Taco Bell to be open later. And to be proud of my work. I want long hair, above all else.
What needs to be left in 2025?
Skipping dinner. I need people to be eating meals. Because if you’re not eating meals, guess what? You’re gonna be fainting. You’re gonna get too drunk.
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Missy’s dealbreaker…